BARN RULES

THE ART OF SNORTING: Humans like to be snorted on. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family horse, to accommodate them.

NEIGHING: Because you are a horse, you are expected to neigh. So neigh -- a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting the barn and
communicating with other horses. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing you, "Neigh,
neigh, neigh..."

STOMPING CATS: When standing on cross ties, make sure you never -- quite -- stomp on the barn cat's tail. It spoils all the fun.

CHEWING: Make a contribution to the architectural industry ... chew on your
stall wall, the fence or any other wooden item.

FRESH BEDDING: It is perfectly permissible to urinate in the middle of your freshly bedded stall to let your humans know how much you appreciate their hard work.

DINING ETIQUETTE: Always pull all of your hay out of the hay rack, especially right after your stall has been cleaned, so you can mix the hay with your fresh bedding. This challenges your human, the next time they're cleaning your stall -- and we all know how humans love a challenge (that's what they
said when they bought you as a two year old, right)?

DOORS: Any door, even partially open, is always an invitation for you and your human to exercise. Bolt out of the door and trot around, just out of reach of your human, who will frantically run after and chase you. The
longer it goes on, the more fun it is for all involved.

GOING FOR TRAIL RIDES: Rules of the road: When out for a trail ride with your owner, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.

HOLES: Rather than pawing and digging a BIG hole in the middle of the paddock or stall